Picture this: You are happy and daily living is easy peasy (like knowing exactly where the milk section is in the supermarket and having the school run timed to the millisecond). Perhaps you have the future mapped out in your mind from where you want to live one day to what schools your future little bambinos will go to. Then, BOOM - this opportunity for your spouse comes out of nowhere and well, for a few reasons it doesn't feel so exciting for you. Whilst this may not ring bells with all spouses, at some point there may be a relocation you aren't jumping up and down excitedly at.
So whether the decision process is active or there is no turning back, I hope these exercises and thoughts will provide assistance in trying to banish the dark thoughts:
1. Think for the moment, what is the worse that can happen? A philosophy that worked well for me, is the answer not you simply come back "home"? What are the threats and what are the opportunities? On the other hand, what is the best that could happen?
2. Block out the haters: I'm am sorry but now is not the time to surround yourself with negativity (see an earlier post on this matter "Shake it off")
3. Forget everything you've ever been told about the place and make your own new opinions and memories: perhaps buy a tourist guide book (if available), read positive blogs and articles about the place and try to make steps to contact nice people already there for advice. By getting yourself excited and opening up your mind, you are taking baby steps to gradually changing your mindset and giving your new adventure at least the possibility of working out for YOU. This research is just as important as the move related admin.
4. Spring clean your beliefs: Consider for a moment whether your beliefs are holding you back. Take 5 minutes to write down all the beliefs you have about this relocation, both the ones you think could be holding you back and also the ones that are empowering you (there will always be empowering ones I promise you). The beliefs could be anything from "I won't have the social circle of friends I have where I am now" or "I won't be able to work there" to "if I live there, my children or I won't be as happy" perhaps some are empowering like "we will be more financially free" or "I will have more time to pursue hobbies/a new career/be with my children". Now take the beliefs that are holding you back and ask yourself if they are actually true? Did these beliefs come from a good source? Are they emotionally helpful or will holding on to them harm you and your family during this relocation? Now write down the polar opposite of these beliefs and ask yourself the same question.
5. Believe in Yourself: One of my favorite quotes of all time “Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” ― A.A. Milne. You can totally do this for your spouse, for your family AND for you.
As always, we need to hear your thoughts on this matter. Have you found yourself in this position? What helped you get through it?
You matter!Your comments matter! Don't let the World miss out on your point of view. Comment below or join the discussion on our forum